Have you ever noticed how we relate to TIME kind of like a one-sided relationship? We use phrases like "I wish..", "If only.." ,"When I..." that are loaded with expectations and more often than not we're left feeling frustrated because "There's never enough".
The problem is that TIME doesn't respond. There's no making amends or an "Oh I understand, here, have some more." My unhealthy relationship with time was all about imagining 'one day' in the future where I'll get all my time back and be able to do everything I want.
"When my sons' start daycare, then I'll have more time..". That day came and I'd already decided to start my own business, so I changed it to "Once I get this online business up & running, then I'll have more time..." And wow did I get good at squeezing every drop of time I could get.
I'd take my sons to daycare, come home and work 6 hours straight - no breaks, barely eating and going to the bathroom. I was a terrible boss to myself, not only because of my endless to do list but also to fight the guilt I felt around putting my sons in daycare and the precious time I was missing out on with them.
Then one crazy evening as I was rushing to finish work and start dinner - fish sticks again. My boys and hubby had come home and I hadn't even noticed. *red flag* Wait..why am I doing all this?!
I started my own business because I wanted to be more available for my family but in reality I was doing the complete opposite. I had good intentions, to get to a certain income level and then I would slow down...
If I want to be a business woman who puts her family first, that doesn't happen 'one day' in the future - it happens TODAY.
So I made a promise that day, that when my family came home I would turn off my computer, greet them with open arms, and just BE with them from dinner until bedtime.
Little did I know, that this simple action step would lead to a HUGE lifestyle shift. Fast forward to today, my to do list is 10x longer than before, I'm more calm and mindful than I've ever been in my life AND my relationship with my kids and hubby is the best it's ever been.
This isn't a coincidence.
I'm actually embarrassed how long it's taken me to recognize that I've caught onto something BIG. Not only am I more in control of my time, there are moments where time slows down. Sounds kinda crazy but it's really all just about perspective.
The secret to work/life balance isn't mastering time, it's about focusing on the one constant in everything you do - YOU.
Ask yourself those difficult questions and get some answers! Who's the person you want to BE? If you were already that person what would you're day look like - what kind of things would you be doing?
Write down your answers as long, or as short, as you like. Then PICK ONE of those actions and starting doing that NOW - no matter how silly or random it seems.
Real change starts by changing our BEHAVIOR - its not just enough to shift our mindset. We need to back it up with action. Just like my example of turn off my computer when my boys came home, making that a habit is what helped me to shift the way that I work.
You got this mamma!
I'm Yun-A (rhymes with 'fun' 'Ah'). I'm originally from MD but I currently live in Oslo, Norway (hello scandinavian design!) with my hubby and 2 toddler sons.
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